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Since the dawn of time, men have been ranking a woman's looks using various methods such as the "Hot or Not" scale or the Milf and Cougar methods. Studies have shown that these methods only produce a 63% success rate sober and a whopping 25% success rate during the consumption of alcohol.

The most popular method, the "On a Scale From 1-10" method is by far the worst. Success rates sober are 22% followed by buzzed at 15% and drunk at 4%.

So what am I getting at? We need to revamp the system boys. How many times have you shown up to a blind date and found out your promised 9 was really a 4? Think of all the cash blown on strippers you were told would be 8s, 9s, and 10s, only to find out they were all 6s and below. This has to stop now and I have the solution.

Below you will find a revamped scale from 1-10 I like to call "The Fratelli to Fox Scale." Some know this scale simply as "The Goze Scale."

Now when your friends ask you what a girl looks like on a scale from 1-10, you can give them a more honest an accurate answer. So how does it work? It's easy take said female and compare her to the list below. The woman she most resembles is your answer.

Example:

Mark: Hey bro I want to set you up with my girlfriend's sister.

Goze: First what she look like?

Mark: She's hot bro, she's an easy 9 on a scale from 1-10.

Goze: What is she on the Fratelli to Fox scale?

Mark: *Mumbles* She's a Silverman.

Goze: Well I'm busy Friday night, why don't you ask George.

See, it's as simple as that. Now the phrase "She's a Fox" has taken on a whole new meaning. Explore the list guys and memorize it as it could be the only thing separating yourself from a great night with a female to an ok night with your hand. NOW GO SPREAD THE WORD!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 1. Mrs. Fratellie (Goonies)

 

 

 

 

 

 2. Natallie (The Facts of Life)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. Snooki (Jersey Shore)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  4. Sara Silverman (Comedian)

 

 

 

 

 

 

5. Tina Fey (Actress/Comedian)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  6. Deborah Ann Wool (Actress)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 7. Elizabeth Banks (Actress)

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

8. Freida Pinto (Actress)

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

9. Marissa Miller (Model)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 10. Megan Fox (Actress)  

 


The Fratelli to Fox Scale Guidelines

This list has generated a lot of discussion so I want to be as clear as possible for people so they can understand the thinking behind the list. Allow me to breakdown the positions for you. 

Fratelli to Fox Scale

1. The number one slot should belong to someone who is just down right awful. This individual should make you question whether or not she is actually a female. 

2. As we move on and progress through the list, you should begin to notice a gradual improvement. Number two should be a person who is still not soft on the eyes but is clearly a female.  Keep in mind slots one through two are not bangable under any circumstances.

3. The number three spot is a key spot because now we enter the part of the list where you may plow the female in question under one condition, you cannot tell anyone. Alcohol is not an acceptable excuse in this situation so don't even attempt to use that as your defense.

4. Next up we have the number four spot and much like the number three spot, you can fornicate with a female ranked four and still don't have to tell anyone...HOWEVER, if you are caught or a friend is on to your game, you are obligated by Goze Law to confess your nasty act.

5. Number five is where things begin to change. You can start bringing a five around your friends and still hold your head up high. Five is a respectable number and is considered the middle ground for a normal adult.

6. The number six spot is above average.  A number six female allows you to skip the friend introduction stage and go straight to the family stage where you may now bring said six to family functions without breaking her in first.  

7. The number seven spot is where we start breaking into an area many of us gents will never see...the reunion stage. Most of us  have some sort of reunion whether it be High School or College. Goze law states that a single man may not attend any form of reunion unless his date register's a seven or higher on the Fratelli to Fox Scale. Married men are of course excluded from said rule. Keep in mind, a number seven is hot but she's still lacking a little something whether it be breasts or ass, this is why she is a seven. A number seven is hot but still has work to do.

8. Now we are at the portion of the list where the female has little to almost nothing to work on. If you rank a female an eight, she's super hot and the only thing holding her back from modeling is the amount of nines that are walking the earth. Eights are notorious for having a snaggle tooth or big feet.  There's always that one thing holding her back from nine status.

9. Were down to the final two spots and you have to be wondering by now what could possibly separate a nine from a ten. These two spots are very close in ranking and the way I choose between them is usually by giving the all natural female the nod. I'm all for fake tits but if you can find a girl who has the look and is all natural, she deserves her ten ranking. Nines are as good as you can get without actually banging a celebrity.

10. At last we reach the final spot. If you rank a woman a ten on the Fratelli to Fox Scale, she must hold a look that cannot be duplicated. A number ten must be perfection. As I stated before I have no problem with cosmetic surgery but a woman who can achieve perfection without the help of a surgeon is just that much more impressive.  This rule is very flexible though so please don't feel as though a ten must be all natural. 

 

Things to know

1. This Scale is based entirely on looks. As a friend using this scale you cannot be punished for behavior. This is a buyer beware scenario as you are only delivering the goods, you are not responsible for performance.

2. The scale must show a progression from something that a skilled physician questions as being female to a Goddess. 

3. The progression throughout this list is gradual, each rank has a value so be sure to take everything into consideration before assigning a number to a female.

4. Remember this is not a scale for supermodels.  These women represent females who are obtainable to the average man. On the Fratelli to Fox list, the average man pulls four through six.

5. Every man has their personal preference but by no mean should you ever be more than two slots off from another man's ranking. Two slots is permissible but one spot is the standard.  Anything over two spots means one of you two dummies may actually be legally blind. At this point it is safe to seek a third opinion.

6. Makeup is Ok when ranking so rank a girl at what she looks like at her best. Lets be honest, every woman wears some kind of mask, some just happen to be thicker than others. 

There you have it fellas. those are the guidelines of the Fratelli to Fox Scale. Spread the word to all your friends.